Love is War Commentary
by SpicyTacos
Summary: This is my commentary to a horrific, Mary Sue story called Love is War by DecemberSayer. Just a warning, you may loose some brain cells.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I, unfortunately, stumbled upon this story. I immediately thought, commentary time, just by reading the description. Warning, I believe you can die from the grammar errors and the idiot plotline. I am not responsible for any damages. **

Chapter ONE! Inrto **(Into or intro? If into, I'm quite scared..)** Cara

A/N THISSSSSS **(Parsletounge?) ** IS MY NEW STORY PLZ READ AND REVIREW! I KNOW YOU WILL LUV IT!

My name is Caroline Olivia Queen **(Queen. Siriusly?) **and I attend Hogwarts .Every one calls me Cara for short because I HATEE my first name and I have a problem I am in love with Fred and Jorge **(It's GEORGE! GEORGE! My wizard god save me.)** Weasly **(Weasley..)**. They r My BEST FRIENDS! We gone too Hogeasrts together since we were in the first year. **(No shit, Sherlock)**

I hace long beautiful **(Here comes the Mary Sue Description) **chochlate colored brown hair that fell in perfecjt curls down my back. I styled my hair down. **(Can you do that?)** I had light blue eyes. Blue as a freshwater river. **(Freshwater river? That's one of the most Mary-Sueish descriptions of a person's eyes I have seen)** I have a VERY curvy figure. I am petite and small. ALOT of people seem to love me.**(Of course, they do.)** Proboly because I am very nice and kidhearted! I give money to the homeles and orphands too! **(What's that have to do with anything? Mean people can give money to the homeless and orphans.)** Everyone sayes they love to be around me. **(Again, typical sue.)** I also love to prank with Fred and Jorge. We love pranking Snepe but we never get caught! I am in griffindor with them. I dont no if they like me or not. Being around them makes me fell all nervous and fuzt **(They sure know how to make a person feel fuzt!)** inside!

My story begone now when I was on the train. Waiting to arrive at the school I attend, Hogwarts. **(This is the third time you've said you attend Hogwarts. WE GET IT!)** Then my frends walk in the compartment I was sitting.

"Hello" say Fred and Jorge **(George)** at the same time.

"Hi" I said back. **(Well, that was a pointless conversation)**

the rest of the train ride we eats stuff from the troly such as chochlate and caramel Then we arrived at Hogwarts. **(Make that four times) ** Hogwarts is a big castle big enough for all the students ti sleep in. **(Not all the time, sometimes Hogwarts runs out of room and makes some Slytherins sleep with the Giant Squid!)**

"Were here" I said very excitedly. You see I luv Hogwarts more then home. Hom,e is boring since I live alone. I am a orphan thit is why I luv giving them money and understangin. **(I wonder how in the world you have enough money to sustain a house, without a job, and still be able to afford Hogwarts, giving money to poor and homeless people. Why am I trying to put logic in here? THERE IS NONE!)**I dont like being alone I am a people person! My parents die when I was young about 4 actually. A year later I met the weaslys. **(How did you meet the Weasleys when you were five?)** My parents were killed by death eaters and Voldomort hisself.

Me Fred and Jorge walked into the grate Hall. I sat betwen them at the griffindor table. I smiled as I ate my chicken **(Chicken! I said and there it was! Ah, Turtle from Imma Wiserd.. Chicken always reminds me of you.) ** thinking of all the pranks we were going to do this year.

"So Cara what r we going to prank snape with this year" said fred happily. "tink we should turn his hair pink!"

"OMG That would be soo funny." I cheered. **(Not really. Maybe his expression but, that's about it.)**

"I agre" agreed Jorge **(George)**. Then Dumledore said we had to go to bed since it was VERY late.

I went up to my dorm bed and fell asleep. **(Maybe she'll stay asleep forever!)**

The next morning **(And my hopes go down the drain…)** I went in the grate hall with fred and Jorge **(George)**. Snape walked into the grate hall with PINK HAIR! **(You didn't even plan, nor did you use a spell on Snape. How is his hair pink?)** Snape glared at us and sat next to hagrid. He didnt look very happy. Dumledore was eating his waffles. **(I can so imagine Dumbledore eating waffles with a huge grin, acting as though he was five..)**

"Hey cupcake, how about we make out" Dumbledore saaid to Snape **(Well, that's going to haunt me for awhile) **who walks inro grate hall.

"no thank you dumbdore!" insulted Snape. **(Insulted?)**

Me Jorge **(George)** and fred laughed at the headmaster being rejected.**(That's not nice! Apologize to the waffle-eating Dumbeldore!)** WE then finished our meals and went to classes.

First we had potions then we had a bunch of other claasses. **(Again, another pointless thing to know!)**

I sat in the back row nxt to Fred and Jorge **(George)**. Snape walked in the clasroom and glared at us. **(Wouldn't his face hurt after awhile from all of that glaring?)**

"miss cara, you have detention for my hair." **(What about Fred and George?)**

"I dont do anything I responeded **(Um, ob-viously you did, somehow)**

"I kn'w it was you. You will report ti my class room after lunch and dont think about doin any homeworK!" Snape said. I was shocked. we never got caught befour. Snape must have been up to something _EVIL_! **(How is giving you detention 'evil'?)**

I ate my pizza and soda for lunch. **(Pizza and soda at Hogwarts?) **Then I went to sbnapes classroom for detention…

TO BE CONTINUED! **(Yippy, I'm so excited [Translation: Someone shoot me before I have to read the next chapter.)**

REVIEW AND I WILL WRITE DA NXT CHAPTER! **(Please don't)**

**So, what did you all think? Just leave a Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I'm back with the painful next chapter. Thank you for the nice reviews by the way! I really appreciate them! Now here's the next chapter, and, as I said before, I am not responsible for any damages.**

A/N: IM BAK W/ THE NEXT CHAPTER! **(Oh, Merlin, save us all.)** NO 1 RECIEWED **(Hm, I wonder why.)**, BUT I THNK THT WOULD B UNFAIR FOR DA READERS! **(People can read this?)** I NO U WILLS LUV IT & R CURIUS WHAT UI GOING 2 HAPPENNNJN NXT **(Someone save me…)**:

I was walking 2 detntion I herd voices cooming frok SNWPES CLASRUM! **(Well, you are going to Snape's classroom, so what a surprise? Oh, and did anyone else get brain damage from the sentence? I sure did.)**

"I no tht the lore WOULDNT BE VERY HAPPY!" wispered snapes to someone else in the classroom! **(No, he's talking to himself! And was he whispering or shouting?)**

"But snape u have to kill the gurl!" **(Of course.)** replied an anonomous voice.

I didnt wanna be late and I was curious so I opened the dorr **(Wait, wait, you know Snape has to kill some girl and you WALK INTO THE CLASSROOM..Dumbass Sue.)** to Snepe's clasroom and saw:

SNEPE TALKING TO RON! **(RON!?)**

I dont lke Rpn he is very _EVIL_ AND ANOYING! **(Woah, woah, Ron EVIL!?)** HIM AND HIS BFF NEVULE! **(Did this person even read the books?)** I CANT STAND THE! RIN IS JUST A DRED **(Oh, god not Fred too!)** AND JORGE **(George)** WANNA BE **(THEY'RE BROTHERS!)** I HATE FOLOWERS AND COPYERS THEU ARE MINDLESWS FREAKS. **(I can agree with that, but THEY ARE BROTHERS!)** THE Y CANT CHIOOSE BWTN 1 OR 2! **(You can count that high?)** RON IS JUSTA COPYEER A MINDLES FOLOWERER! **(…)**

"Hello Professer!" I said cherfully. Knowing that Snaepe where is a ecil person wprking for the dark lord VOLODErmort! **(So you said it cheerfully because he works for Voldemort? What the...)** I passed ron and sat in a chair.

"Welsy **(WEASLEY)** U may leave now!" Snapes said glaring at me.

"Now today u will sit their untilk I say u can leave!" **(OHHHH such a punishment!)**

I sat their for two HOURS! That is 1 Hour longer than a usual dertention.**(Yeah, this is so much worse than Umbitch's type of detentions! One hour so scary!)** I wondered whi him and ron were after. **(Of course we all know…)** It was a girl and I knew it, I CANT tell ferd **(Fred)** and Jorge **(George)**. They don't wanna get inn the middle of this fiesta. **(Of course, they don't want to stop them from killing you! Nobody would help you if someone would try to kill you!)** I wenrt to the 1 perwspn I know who I can trust(beside fRed and jirghE **(Oh god, that is the WORST spelling of George…HOW IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE!)**):

I walks down to Hagrus hut. You know the small little house buy the pumkin patch. Yeah so I walks there **(I find this line humorous as well as redundant. WE GET YOU WALKED THERE!)**. I knock and wait for him to anwer.

"Helo there Cara." Say haris **(HARIS? His name is Hagrid, HAGRID!)**.

"Hay," I then respond. Her** (HER? IS HAGRID A WOMAN NOW?!)** opens the door so I can enter, I walks into his hut.

"Whats up" Hagrus saied. **(I now can imagine this hug Hagrid with a ton of gold on and talking like a rapper.)**

I explain waht I heard of roan and snaspe conversation.

"you sholud tell dumledore!" harud saay.

"BUT HE LUVES SHAPE!"**(Officially scarred.)** I protest.

"I know dumledore more then you he would fight against the veils **(Sirius would too!)**" hagrf say.

"Fibne" I give in **(All Hagrid said is that Dumbles likes fighting against veils. How is that a bit persuasive that you randomly give in?) **. I know I have to teklkt the headmaster. He might do something. **(He'll fight the veils!)**

I walk to the headmasters office. On my way their I collide witg no other rthen NEVULLE! **(YES, IT'S NEVILLE!)**

I hated nevuile since 1st year he waz so mean to me. **(Neville…MEAN?)** He makes fub of orphans. **(He's practically an orphan himself!)** I am very fond of orphans being 1. he then makesa fun of hoeless people. **(Hoeless people?)** I guice mony to the those unfortunate people! **(Of course, you do.)** HE bulies me all thoe time and insults me **(I could never picture Neville bullying someone)**. Him and rob **(Who's Rob? Does Cara or whatever mean Ron?)** are the only 2 guys int the school that _hate _me. **(Make that three)** He makesa me sick. Also he is wopking four VOLDOMORT! **(…)**

"Hows lickingr your masters fe4tt.!" I insult nevule. **(EW! Licking Voldy's feet? EW! Just, AH BAD IMAGE!)**

"Hows being a low life parentless pour sluit!" **(He's. Practically. An. Orphan!) ** He respond.

"HOWS being an idoet who cant pass his math exam?" **(Math? AT HOGWARTS?)** I ask. Nevule become agry and storms off. That suits him right. He deserves it. **(Deserves not passing Math?)** No one likes him anyway accept ron and that lona **(Lona? Who?)** chick.

"HAHAHAHAH!" I laugh sop hard with tears running. **(You laugh that hard because Neville got mad because he can't pass Math? What?)** I them walks to dumledors office and nock pn the door. He opens the door:

2 BE CONTINUES **(OH! such a cliffhanger!)**

I HOPE U ENGOYED **(Nope.)** IT PLZ REVEIWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW TELL ME IF IT IS IS AWSPME! **(Definitely, this was way below awesome.)**

**AN: Well, I hope not as many brain cells of yours died as they did mine… Please, tell me what you think of my Commentary with a Review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back with the next chapter of this horrific story. I must apologize to my reviewers who have lost some brain cells, as have I. Anyway, let's get this over with!**

AN:I KNO HOW 2 SPELL! **(Um, no.)** I KNOW DAT JORGE **(George)** IS SPELLED RIGT! **(NEVER, will GEORGE be spelled JORGE.)** IM NOT A STUPET! **(I would care to disagree.)** ANYWAY ENHOY ThE CHAPTA! **(I won't)**

I walk into dumkedores **(Dumkedore?)** office.

"Hello!" he say excited too see me. **(Why would he be excited? If I were Dumkedore I would be mortified.)**

"Hi hadmaster" I say reaspectng him. **(Yep, saying hi shows a ton of reaspect.)**

"Y are you here" He say.

"Welllllllllll" I begin. **(What a way to begin.)**

"Wellllll wut" He ask. **(What's with the long wells?)** I then expkin what Sna[e and rom were talking about.

"I CANT JUST FIER SNAPE!" Dumpdore yelled. **(SHE SPELLED SNAPE RIGHT!)**

Crap I think. He didnt belive me! **(Just because he didn't fire Snape doesn't mean that he did not believe you.) **I guess I jave to prove it. **(And jave it you will!)**

Later that day I meet up with ferd **(Fred)** and Jorge **(George)**.

"Sup" said JOr3ge.**(I think I'm going to pass out with the horrific spelling of George. A three in George? SIRIUSLY!?)**

"Nothin" I responded.

"Wanna cum up with a new prank to play on Snpe?" Fredc **(Fredc?)** asked.

"Sure" I hesitated. I new they wouid notice somethin was up of I decline.**(You hesitated saying sure? I am very confused now. Well, this whole story's confusing but, you get the point.)** Sp then we plotted an ew prank on sanpe even though we were crssing dangersou waters.**(Oh, maybe you'll get THREE HOURS of detention!)**

The new day Snase **(I feel like that's a word you say while sneezing.)** walked intoo the grate4 hall **(Oh, I love the grate4 hall!)**. His skin had purp,ke pokadots all over it. And he was weering a babe pink dress. **(Snape's eyes so go with that babe pink)**

"AH!" snepa **(Snape's a girl now?)** let out a girlihs shriek. We laughted like there was no tommarow. **(Hopefully, you won't wake up tomorrow, Cara.)** Snape was fuming. **(I would be too, especially when you woke up tomorrow.)**

"You look sexiii Snapr" compliment dunlesoor.**(I told you it matched his eyes!)**

"MISS CARA DETENTION!" He blames me! What blasfmy.**(How is that a disrespecting or a mocking of god? Well, this fanfiction definitely is a disrespect of Harry Potter.)** He was up to something at least I can investigate in detention!

I then go to detenin. **(Didn't you just get out of detention?)** I put my ear againt the door.**(Aren't you in detention?)**

"my lord Im not worthy" I heart snape say.**(I always heart people saying things.)**

"_sevrys _(tha's snapes 1st name right? **(Oh my wizard god…)**) _dont flattere me. You kno what u must do." _Hissed a creppy voice. **(Ohhh, I'm so frightened. )**

"I will kil her my lorf" said snaps. **(Of course, you will.)**

"_Good. You must habve her deed befour the year me her body when she is dead!" _the cold voice laufged. **(Woah, Woah, WHAT?! I am so confused 'You habve her deed befour the year me her body WHEN SHE'S DEAD!' So threatening!)**

"_I would be happty enough too kill her if snpa fails." _Added a new voice iu coult recognize. The voice was very familiar. I kno he is a follower they all adre they cant lead worth carp.**(I'm really confused…)**

"_I am glad that u bothe are very very loyal" __**(**_**Yes, bothe of you!)**

"_who else 2 follow? Dumledore? Dont me laugh. He is sooo gay and old. He cant do anything__" _a new voice laygted. **(Why is this underlined? And why are you insulting Dumbles? He's one of the most powerful wizards…and LAYGTED? What is LAYGTED?)**

"_No, need to show off my faithful sevrnt" _**(How us that showing off?)**

"_I dobt he is showing off" _the sukc up looser said. **(You don't even know who that is!)**

"MY koed I sense some1 my lotd U must leave NOW!" snape warned.**(It took me five times to read that to understand what the author meant..)** I wish I had a tape recorder to show dunmledore! **(Dunmledore!)**

The door was opend and out walks. RON AND NEVULE! **(WOAH, WOAH, RON AND NEVILLE?! THIS AUTHOR IS MAKING ME IN A RAGE, THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!)**I walked into the clasroom to see snape talkie to luna. **(AND LUNA?! WHY LUNA?!)**

"Prdofessor?" I said.

"Oh! That is y lina thaT IS Y THAT INGREDIANT IS IMPROTANT!" sed snape. **(Yes, this is really in character…)**

"Thx, proddesser." Said lujn .**(I almost thought that said Remus Lupin.)**

Luna left the classroom. Leaving me and snape for detention. **(SHE SPELLED EVERYTHING RIGHT! THIS IS A RECORD!)**

"How much did u here brat?" He growled. **(Aww, and it broke at you…)**

"What exact;y" I decided to play dumb.

"Hmph." He then starting workin on a poition.**(That sounds so wrong. I read: 'He then started working on a position. BAD THOUGHTS, BAD THOUGHTS!)**

At dinner I started eating pizza and then I picked up my coke **(Again, pizza and soda at Hogwarts?) **t5 frink.**(To with a five?)** This taste funny I though as I drunk the sode.

Then I was engulped in darkness.

SNCE ITS SATERDAY I MADE IT LONGRRRR! ARENT U HAP\PY? **(Definitely not happy.)** I HPE U ENJOY & SEA U TOMARROW 4 DE NXT CHAPTA! **(I hope my brain will be able to survive that long…)**

**Well, that hell of a chapter is over. Review and tell me what you thought!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello! Again, I would like to thank my reviews for this story. They really mean a lot to me and give me strength to keep reading this trash! So, onward we go to the next chapter! (Oh boy.)**

A/N: WTF WITH MY STORY! **(Exactly, what I'm thinking!)** I REPOSTED DIS STORY! **(Why? To rid humanity of brain cells?) **I THINK IT WOOD B SMART 2 **(Never) **POST THE NEXT CHAPTER EARLY! READ & REVEW!

I woke up the next day in the hosbital wing **(Why does she have to keep waking up!)**. I saw Miss Pomphrey handlin w/ a bunch a diff. types of potons.

"ur awake?" she asked.

"_obviusly_" I responded. **(Man, what a bitch.) **Then fr4d **(Fred) **and jrorge **(George)** walked in.

"your ok" they saed at the same time and they hugged me. **(That must be very awkward hug…)**

"what what happed" I said.

"You were posined." **(Whoever poisoned this thing, THANK YOU!)** Said Jorge **(George)** answering my questin. **(No, he was answering the pope's question!)**

"WHO WOULD POISEN U MY SWEET CARA!" **(Well, I don't know maybe about three-fourths of the whole planet.) ** Frwd **(Fred)** sobbed **(Aw, don't cry, Fred! There's always a chance she won't wake up tomorrow!)** and hugged me. I pated him on the bak and told him im ok. **(We wish you weren't)**

Then dumledor walks into the room.

"im wondering the same tjhing." He said.**(What? Was Dumbles spying on them or something?)**

"I think it was Snape" **(You're now sounding like Harry.) **said fered **(Fred)**. I gasped how did fredc **(Fred)** know? **(He's an all knowing being, duh!)** He must of herd from his evil brother RON! **(RON IS NOT EVIL! Geez!)**

"we cant jump to conclusins" said dunbledore.

"But I know it was hhim" I said.

"U cant blame sevurs for everything" Dubmledore **(Dubstep Dumbledore!)** said.

"But" I began

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Dumbledore screeched. He must of loved Snape very very muych. **(I. Will. Never. Sleep. Again. Bad. Image.)** He then stormed of. **(Man, that's one bi-polar Dumbledore!)**

"How did u no about snepp?" **(My eye is now twitching from the spelling of Snape.)** I ask.

"WE;l i overheard u talkin to hagrus." **(Man, what's with all the stalkers!)** Freed **(Fred)** answered.

That evening I got out of the hospital wing. (I heal quickly) **(You better hope you die quickly too.)**. I then was walking on the school ground. I runb into no other then: HARRY POTTER. **(GASP!)**

"Hello" I said two him.

"Hello, cara, I have to ask u somthing" Harry then blushed. **(Please, not Harry! Not Harry!)**

"Wut, is it?" I said.

"Well I have seen u around school and =ll but I never get the chance to.."

"Cahce to what?" I asked ver curious.

"Would u want to be my Gf?" he said smiling. **(NO. NO. NO. NO. NO! HARRY WHY?!)**

I though about it for a mintute. **(You can think?) **I didnt wanna say no that would be very mean and I am a very nice person. **(I think you're horrible!)** He was good lookin, that was for sure. **(Finally, the author gets one thing right.)** But I loved frred **(Fred) **and Jorge **(George)**. What uf I went out with him to make them jealous? That wasnt mean. **(Um, yeah that is; you're using Harry as a pawn.) ** I give him a chance and see what fred and Jorge **(George)** do. **(Hypocritical Sue?)** I smiled.

"Yes." I reponedd. He lept in joy. **(Maybe, there will be a plot twist when Harry instead of dating 'Cara', he'll rid the world of her!)** We linked hands and walked to the griffindor **(Gryffindor)** common room. I had one thing on my mind:

_What was I going to tell fred and Jorge __**(George)**__? _**(Oh, I don't know, maybe that you're a dumbass sue and that you should NEVER EVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN! That'd be a happy ending. But, my dreams go too far…)**

SOORRY BUIT U HAVE 2 WAIT UNTIL NXT TIME! **(Thank Merlin the almighty.)** WHAT WIL CARA TELL DEM? **(See above)** REVWIE & TELL ME HOW GOOD I DID! **(Terrible, this makes Stephanie Meyer look like a goddess.)**

**So how did I do? Click below and give me a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, one of you reviewed on DecemberSayer's story that I was writing this Commentary. So, apparently the author has been yelling at me in authors notes in her story to take my Commentary down. In fact, yesterday Cara messaged me to take my story down. It was downright hilarious! So before I commentary on this chapter, I'm going to commentary her message. This is for you Cara!**

TAK UR STOIRY! **(Um, no thanks.) **IM A BETTA RITER DEN U! **(In what world?) **SO STFU! **(I prefer to just keep talking.)** IK MORE BOUT HP DEN U DO! **(Excuse me? I happen to know how to spell George)**I SAW LLL DA MOVEIS! **(I have too a ton of times! And I have read the books millions of times, and have been to midnight premieres.)** U DINT NO **! **(I know what a star is, unlike you)** SO FUKIN STOP W/UR COMENTARY! **(Again, no thanks) **WUT IF I MAD A COMENTAYR OF UR STORYE! **(And what would be the point of that? Oh wait; I remember who I'm talking too. There is no point in your writing.)**

**Anyway, back to commenting on the trash!**

A/N: I NO U ALL NICE READERS **(Why thank you! I always knew I was nice!) **(NOT DEM DUMBASS FLAMERS! **(Are you sure the Flamers are the dumbasses here?)**) HAVE BEEN WAITIN 4 THE NEXT CHAPTA **(Oh no we haven't)**! PLZ RD AND GIVE GOOOOOOOD REBVIEWS!

So me and hary opened the door to the coomn room. There was fred amd Jorge **(George)** sittin there. **(GASP!)**

"Hello cara. Hello harre" they said.

"Hi!" we said at the same time.

"Gess what?" Harry said.

"What" the twins said inrested.

"Wer dating!" I said cheerfully. They both looked down sadly. **(Don't be sad! We'll get that monster away from Harry!)** Maybe their is a small chance rhat they do like me.! **(And a even bigger chance that they want you destroyed)**

"Oh…" said Jorge **(George)**.

"Well I will see u tomarrow" I then went to sleep in my bed. **(I like sleeping on my imaginary dog but, that's just me…)**

The next morning I walked into the graet hall. I saw harry fred and Joreg **(George)**. So I sat next to haerry. He then pecked me on the lips. **(I have a feeling Voldemort is behind this!) **I embraces him and saw over his shoulder Fred and Jorge **(George) **glaring at him. **(I think they were glaring at him because he is under the possession of Voldemort)**

After I finished eating my wafdfles **(Oh! Yummy wafdfles!)** and milk I was walking yto potions class. While we waited for snape to show up I sawe ron Nevulle and luna. They seemed tgo be discussing something important. **(They must be talking about how to get rid of you!)**

"HEY!" I shouted. "IF U WANNA SAY SOMETHIN LET EVERY ONE HERE! ITS NOT NICE TO KEEP SEECRETS!" **(And it's not nice to listen on other peoples conversations!)** Nevule glared at me. the 3 of them serounded me they all startd to swing**(I wonder when they got a swing set in the potions classroom.) ** at me. Fred then jumped in front of me. Joege **(George)** grabbed them all fromk behind. I looked over at them.

"U saved me!" I said and hugged them. Jorge **(George) **dropped the trio on the groind. **(What are you, the Hulk?)** Dape **(A pairing between Draco and Snape? AH BAD IMAGE!) **then walked by.

"CARA QUEEN! DETENTION!" **(Yay!)** HE yelled.

"But I didn" I tried to protest.

"NO DETENTION!" **(Snape why did you have to back down!?)**

After detentin **(I thought she didn't have detention.) **I left snapes classroom. I walked by the pond **(Hogwarts has a pond?)** and sow harry.

"Cara over here" he yelld. I walked over there

"Haarrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy!"I screamed as I gaver him a hug.

WE discussed many different things like fav. food games class and other stuff. We then got to the topic of quittich **(What are you going to quit the itch? Go buy so anti-flee cream or something!)**.

"Cara we need another chaser **(I wonder if Cara's version of a Chaser is to just run around the yard chasing things) **or we cant play againt slitheren this year." Harry said sadly. I wondered what I cold do to help hiM! **(Leave, you leave and never come back. That's how you can.)**

"I will play chaser!" I promclaimed. Being on the quittich **(Quit the itch!)** team would b fun! I could see fred and jorhe **(George)** and harry more offen.

"Thank YOU!" He then kissed me. **(Voldemort stop it! Stop it now!)** It made me feel all fuzzy inside!

The next day I wnert to see my one of my close BFFL, Hermione **(No, not Hermione too!)**. We havent talked alot this year because I was bussy in detention and she was bussy playing cupid **(Hemione playing cupid?! HERMIONE!?)**. She would always give me good adive on dating **(Oh. . Cara. . . !**) Basicaly everyone went to her **(Well, everyone does go to Hermione for advice, NOT playing cupid.)**. She was an expert on this stuff **(Well, Hermione knows all.)**. She hooked up many different ppl in the past **(Hermione hooking people up!? SIRIUSLY?)**. The only time she failed was helping Dumledore get Snape! **(Stop. With. This. Pairing. Now. NOW!)** Ok, anyone would fail knowinf all the times snape rejected him. **(Thank the wizard god for that…)**

I knocked on her door.

"who is it" sje said.

"Cara" I answered. She opened the door. She was wering all pink **(NO. NO. NO. NO. NOOO!) **. It fit her persona really. **(Never will it! NEVER!)**

"how may I help u today?" she asked.

"I have a…" I began.

"dating issue" she said. "endeer **(PRONGS!)** me."

"Mhmmmm. Well i like frerd and Jorge **(George) **but im dating harry. HE offered me a spot on the quittich **(Quit your itch!)** team. I think they r jealus? **(Definitely not.)** Should I brake up with him. **(They aren't a bike!)** What if jhe thinks im using him. **(You ARE using him!)** I do kind of like him!"

"I think u should listen to youre heart" **(Man, the cliché listen to your heart stuff again. You've done it again Hermione!) ** I stared at her blankly.

"If u really like harry u should stay with him. if u dont u have to figure out if u like ferd or Jorge **(George)** more. Dating 2 ppl is cheating you know. Or u could wait and see if they try to make a move." She said. I lightblub flickered in my head. **(I knew there wasn't a brain up in there!)** I understiood exactly what she is saying. But how do I know if I like Harry.

All day I was day I was debating weather **(Just watch the Muggle news, or look on the **_**Daily Prophet **_**or something if your that concerned)** or not I should wait on fred..or Jorge **(George)** or brake up with harry immediately. **(How about you just LEAVE all of their lives!)** I stared at my feet. Maybe I keep thinking about fred and Jorge **(George) **too much. I should at least try to b around harry without thinking of them or their super sexy red hair. **(Second thing Cara has gotten right. SEXY RED HAIR!)** I shoke my head. Harry then walked up to me intterupting my thoughts.

"Hey" he said "meet my by the pond **(There is not a pond at Hogwarts, not a pond!) **on Saturday. We can have a picnic their" he said. I smiled saterday was tommarow and that would b the perfect time to think souly on harry. And forget Jorge **(George) **and Fred. **(YES, FORGET BOTH OF THEM!)**

NXT CHAPTA IS THD PICNIC! PLZ !

**So, what did you think of my Commentary so far? Click below and Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Again, thank you all for the good reviews! Madison (DecemberSayer; it says her name is Madison on her Fanfiction account) managed to put back up her trash! I don't know if I should be happy, or terrified that she managed to do that. You don't have to fear now; I copied and pasted all of her trash that she calls chapters to my computer. So, even if Fanfiction deletes them again, I still have them. Oh, and thank you for reviewing my last chapter DecemberSayer! Thank you for your love! Enjoy the next chapter!**

AN: Y DO U ALL KEEP CALLIN CARA MARY SUE! **(Maybe, because SHE IS!)** HER NME IZ CAR QUEEN NOTT MERU SUE! **(I'm betting you have no idea what a Mary Sue is.)** SUEWS R M,EAN! **(That's why we call Cara one.)** CARA IS VERYVERY NICE! **(Again, on what planet?)**

I happyily got up the next morning. **(Why. Do. You. Have. To. Keep. Waking. Up.)** I was sooo excited and ettastic **(I'm surprised you know that word. Well, attempting to know that word.)** about the picnic today! I promise myseld that i WILL NOT think of frees of Jorge **(George)**! Hary I would only think og harry. **(Og? Who's og? Oh! Are you talking about the old gamekeeper, Ogg?) ** Him and his gorgous hair and his beutifull blue eyes! **(HE HAS GREEN EYES! GREEN!)** I smiled todayh was going too be THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

I was walking down rto the lake **(I thought you were going to a non-existent pond?)** and I pased snapes classroom **(Wait, you walked from the Gryffindor tower to the dungeons to go to the lake? Dumbass Sue.)** and I heard him tlaking to someone.

"_Seeeevvvrrrssssssssssssssss" _**(Dude, you know he can't understand Parsletounge.)**a voice hissed.

"Yes my lord" snape said. **(So, Snape is now another heir of Slytherin along with Cara. Oh joy…)**

"_U know what I asssssssssssk of u" _**(Whaaaaaaaattttttt do you wannnnnntttt? Geez, you don't have too keep holding letters.) ** the voice said.

"yes my lord my next attempt will b tonight!" sndnpe **(Snape… SNAPE!)** cheered.

"_Yes ssssshe must be dead by your deadline u remember it right?" _**(Voldemort is officially a snake. He must be Nagini in disguise. I KNEW IT!) **the voice spat. I assume **(When you assume something it makes an ass of 'u'. Therefore, you are an ass.) ** snape nodded or justured yes of some sort. As the door creaked open I ran outsuide to the pond. **(You're in the dungeons BELOW ground. What did you fly up the flights of stairs?)**

"hello harry" I said and sat next to him. **(YOU SPELLED EVERYTHING RIGHT!)**

"hi" he said and took out thepicnic basket.

he ate pb and j and I ate ham and cheese sandwitch.

"Mmmmm," I said "thx"

"No prob" he replied. "Hey cara!" **(Didn't you already say hello?) **

"Yes" I said andsering him. **(That's right, andser that hey!)**

"I have simthing for you." **(GASP!) ** He said "close ur eyes" **(Now, he's going to take out his wand and AVADA YOU ON THE SPOT!)** I obeyed and closed my eyes. **(HERE IT COMES!)** I could fell sometjhing around my neck. **(I guess he wanted to choke her instead. It's still affective so, I have no problem with this.)**

"Open" he said as I opened my eyes. I saw him **(with his hands around my neck…)** smiling and I looked at my neck. **(And I realized that I was being choked to death!)**

There was a neckless that said GF on it. **(NO, HARRY! LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING! CHOKING IS MORE AFFECTIVE THAN A NECKLACE!) ** I looked at him abnd he was wearing one that said BF. **(Harry…Wearing a necklace…. No, just no.)** They were to parts of a heaty! **(Heat Miser?)**

I leeped into his arms **(And he threw you in the lake/pond.)** and heared from behind me.

"EWWWW! Necklesses is for gay ppl like dumledore!" **(Not necessarily…) **out of surpize harry almost dropped me. **(Yes! Drop her!)** he put me on the ground **(and he pointed his wand at me. "Avada Kedavra!" he shouted. Then I realized that I was dead! The crowd cheered around me.)** and we turned around to see shnape! **(Shapes? Like a big circle, or a square. Man, that's threatening.)**

Suddenly I felt a force hit me and i fell into the pond! **(And I was never to be seen again.)**

a/n I NO THIS IS SHRT BUT I WILL UPDATE 2MARRO! WIL CARA SURVIE **(NO!) **REVEIWIWWWIWWW AND TWELL ME WAT U THINK. **(It's terrible.)** WHEN I SAY REVEIW I MEAN THOSE NICE PPL WHO READ MY STORY **(I definitely then will review because, I am nice.)**. U EVUL PPL WITH BAD REVEIWSS R ALIED W/SNAPE AND VOLDOMORT! **(Um, okay?)**

**A/N: What did you think? Click below and tell me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Madison has made another account named, MadisonDecemberSayer. I happened to find this while I was looking for anymore chapters from her. Needless to say, her first account was taken completely down. Thank you all again for the wonderful reviews I've reviewed! Sorry for the late update! I'm back in school and, it's difficult to keep everything up. I will announce that I will at least update every Saturday or Sunday. Now, let's continue to this next trash!**

AN/ FCK U FF FUCK U DELTED MY STORYYYY! **(I wonder why…)** WILE I WUZ AT SKOOL! **(You go to school?) **THATE EVELLL! **(I assure you; whoever your English teacher is, is indeed, evil.)** I DONT NO Y U DELEETED IT! **(We all know why.) **SO STUP HAITIN ON ME & MY STORY! **(Nah, no thanks.) **UR ALL JUST JEALUS! **(I wouldn't be jealous of you even if you were Bill Gates.)**

sO I was in the lake feelling myself being pulled under.**(WOOT!)** I tryed to stay up but the water was to murkey. **(I can't believe you somehow know that word. Well, somewhat know that word.)** I couldnt see my feet! **(No shit, Sherlock!) **I started to scream for someone tp save me! **(Nobody will come, Cara, nobody will come.)**

"HELP HELP!" I yelled. Hary was standin obver there I assumed he didnt know how to swim! **(Nope, he just wants to cherish every second of this happening.) **Then I saw someone run out of the bui;ding. **(Coming to watch the show, I see!)** It was JORGE **(George)** AND FRED! I saw them dash at about the some speed toword the lake. **(Don't forget a muggle video camera!)** Jorge **(George)** hoped in first then frde. **(George had more hope than Fred? More hope that she would stay dead, of course!)** They might not make it in time I thought as I kept going under. **(They aren't coming in the first place.)** I squeezed my eylids and awaited my premarure death. **(No, you've lived **_**WAY**_** TOO long.)**

I felt someone tug my arm. **(The giant squid?)** I felt like I was being pulled somehwre. May be it was death taling me home to heaven **(hell)** w/ my parents. **(Or the giant squid eating you.)** I was kind of happy that id die.**(So am I.)** I wood **(Oliver Wood?)** see all the ppl I missed dearly. **(Who definitely wouldn't of missed you.)** I felt somethin hard under neath me. I opened my eyes to see muself on land. **(NOOO!) ** I WAS SAVEDD! I rejoiced abn hugged my savor. Jorge **(George) **had saved my and fred did to! **(WHY, WHY MUST YOU SAVE HER!)**

"THANK U SOO MUCH" I wept and huged Jorge **(George)**. Fered and Harru were both glaring feircely at Jorge **(Did you know that this is pronounced hor-a in spanish? Oh, and George.)**.

I turned around to see if snaape was still their. **(He probably was, watching the show like everyone else such as Harry.)** Then I suddenly realised something: SNAPE AND VOLODOMORT WERE TRYIN TO KILL ME! **(YAY!) **I was who they were takling about! **(No shit.) ** I started to panic! I new I had tp tell someone but whoo! Dumledore and hragus were out of the question! **(Why are they? They are some of the most reliable people in the series. Well, Hagrid at times when he's sober but, that's not the point.) **I new just who ot tell!

"comeon cara!' freds voice made me leave my thoughts/

Us four walks inside. **(the dungeon where they slowly killed Cara.)**

We then went up to the griffindor dormitary. I sat in a comfy reed armchair. Harry sat n ext to me **(Probably close to an exit looking for an escape.)** and fred and horge **(George.)** sat on the couch. I was hapy to be alive and round the people ui love the most. We started to talk aboujt the quittich match against slitherin.

"the match is tomarrow cara" harry said.

"WHAT!" I screamed. **(Well, that's not very nice.)** "Y DID U TELL ME ON SUCH SHORT NOTCIE! I AMNOT EVEN READY!" **(You will never be ready.)** I lied hary I didnt know how to play chaser.** (How are you lying if you really aren't ready?)** to I only playes seeker befor. **(Of course, the most cliché thing ever.)**

"We can pratice tonight" sugested Jorge **(George) (I believe his plan is to hit her with a bulger and knock her out, forever!)**.

"Yeah we will get the hole team so that ur ready cara" continued fred. **(No, Fred! You're just hurting the team and everyone else, including yourself!)**

"Thx guys" we all had a group hug. **(Bleck.)**

Later that evening I started to wory about snape and volodmort. When were they going to try next **(Probably soon.) **and… what! **(What?)** I left the comon room to talk two the one person I really need to. **(Okay…?)** I new that they would no how to stop snaep and veldomort,**(They would never help you, unless they're Umbridge and there is a very small percentage even SHE would help you.)** He was our techer this year. I knew he could keep all my screts like I kept his. I new him sine my parents died. **(Oh my god, this better not be Sirius or something.)** I opened the door to his classsomm. He was sittin at his desk grading papers w/ a red pen. **(NO. NO. NO! It better not be my favorite character! Remus is amazing. I WILL NOT LET YOU CORRUPT HIM!)**

His name is-

OMG CLIFFY! **(You are leaving me in such suspense…[Sarcasm])**I NO U AL WILL HAT ME 4 THT BUT I LUVVVVVVVVV SUPENSE! **(And you must love making me mad.) **I HOP ALL U NCE PPL WILL REVEIIIIWWW NOT U EVIL BAD REIWERS! **(Again, I say, I will review for I am a very nice person.)**

**A/N: What did you think? Just click below and send me a Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

AN: SRRY I COULDNT UPDATE! BTW HER IZ THE NXT CHAPTA! & FF WONT LET ME UPDAT TIL: 06-08-12 07:14am **(Okay?)** PST IRDK Y BUT THEY WER MEEN YESTERDAY THEM STUPET BASTARRDZ! **(Are you sure you aren't the stupid Bastard here?)** Y DO THEY HATE ME SO MUCH!? **(Maybe, it's because you can't write…)** I WILL TAKE DIS AS A CHANCE 2 WORK ON CHAPTAS!** (You don't have to. Really, you **_**really **_**don't have to.)**

RENUS LUPPIN! **(I am going to kill you for this…)**

"Hello prefessor" I said happy.

"Helo cara" he said and ruffled me hair. "wuts wrong?"

"Well snaape and voldomort-" I then explain whts going on. **(Yippy…)** He nooded his head a few times intensly listening. **(Nah, he's doing a head bobbing dance.)** I also explain the thing w/ fumledore. He agred not to tell him. Rebbus didnt like dumlefore much anyway. **(Woah, Woah, WHAT!? Remus adores Dumbledore for the fact he allowed him to go to Hogwarts!)**

"I think tht we should confrpnt then together!" We stormed to snapes room. **(Can anyone else picture Remus and Cara doing this stomping, dance down the hall?)** He was talking to RON NEVULLE AND LOONA! **(GASP!)** I gasped.

"U BETRAYED US FRO HIM!" I screemed. **(I thought they were already evil?)** How could they be in leagues with snaped.

"HAHAHAH B******" Ron said. (A/N: I starred it out cuz itz rated K) **(You didn't bother censoring the authors note…)** Nevulle and Lina laufghed.

"WE WOOD NEVER TEAM UP WITH U" Nevulle insulted. **(GO NEVILLE!)**

"Wuts ur plan?" Rennus said wand shaking in his hand. **(Why is he shaking? He's a PROFESSOR and Neville is just a STUDENT, less experienced than Remus is.)** He first pointed hus wand at snape then nevulle then ron then luna. He pointed his wand bak at snape then at nevulle then ron then luuna again. **(Is he having a spaz attack? And how redundant is this?)** He must have been sooo confused because this went on foir a while. **(I can picture him doing a dance and singing while he does this.)**

"DOING SOMETHING SUPER STUPET AND MEAN LIKE THAT LUPPIN ISNT GOING TO ACOMPLISH ANYTHING!" **(I can agree that it's stupid but mean? I don't really think so. Dancing is not mean!)** Snape let out and evil laghh.

"THAT RETARDED A**** HOE CANT DO ANYTHIN ETHER!" Snapee then pointedf his wand at me. "LETS GET RID OF THE MEEN AND USLESS 1st! **(PLEASE DO, SNAPE, PLEASE DO!)** MASTER WILLL B SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! **(He's not the only one who will be happy.)**" Snappe chucked **(his shoe)**.

Snepe was so mean he always insulted me **(Who wouldn't?)** Ik somethinwas up **(No, shit!)**. Then I close my watery cbloo eyes ready to dye then!

"_Sverss let me handel thissssssssss_" hissed lana **(What?! Now LUNA is a parslemouth?!)**. Rion next to luna laughed.

"Master 1 **(Place goes to…MICHEL PHELPS!)**-"

"_yesssss __**(**_**What's up with all the Parsletounge?)**" Ronn and lubas faces started to pell and ship shape into…

BEKKATRICKS who use to b ron AND VOLODOMORT who use to b luuna. **(So, Bellatrix was actually dressed up as Ron, and Voldemort was dressed up as Luna? That's not creepy at all…)**

"HAHA IK THOSE DISGUISED WOULD WORK!" sxreaned bekkaticks. **(You certainly are a genius, Bellatrix.)**

Rennuz and me gapped. This is badd! Sooo sosooo sooo bad. **(They're only bad for existing?)** Tjhey betrayed us **(How? They weren't on your side in the first place!)** and they r volodmort and bekatricks. **(No shit.)**

"_Letssssssssssssssssssssssss kill then!" _hissed volodomore. **(YAY! But, don't kill Remus, or I'll kill you)**

A/N ANOTHER CLIFFY IK I MUST B VRY GOOF THEM! **(The suspense is killing me…)** WLL REVEIWWW AND TELL ME WUT U THINK!

**A/N: What did you think? Just click below and leave me a review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This troll's THIRD account has been deleted… She's still bashing me in chapters, which is hilarious. Do not fear! For I search everyday, making sure I save her shit on my computer.**

AM: SRRY I COUNT UPDATE SOONER! **(No, no, take your time.) **MI PARNTS WERE UPSET THT I GOTS SUMMA SKOOL! **(Hm, I wonder **_**why **_**you of all people got summer school.) **IM NUT GOIN 2 TELL U WUT CLAS I FAILL **(We all know the class was English)** THT WOOD B ENGRATING! **(Engrating? Oh of course, Engrating! What engrating weather we have!)** PS. I GOTTA FREND **(You have friends?)** (HR NAMEE IZ SARAH) 2 HELP ME W/ DUS CHAPTA! **(Looks like she's an underachiever like you)** SO STUP COMPLANIN! **(No thanks.)** THERE I HAVEA BETAT REEDER HAPPY?! **(Not a good one, obviously)**

NOT: THIS HASS VOILENCE **(And damage to the brain)**

"_YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS lets kill them!_' hissed voldomort. **(GASP!)**

I started to cry. **(You better cry.)** I wasd upset that they betrayed us **(THEY. WERE. NEVER. ON. YOUR. SIDE! Dumbass Sue.)** and that I was aboot to die. **(YAY!)**

"BWAGAGAHAHA!" **(I shall go around school laughing like that tomorrow)** laughed bekkatrix. **(Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids.)** As voldomort yelled. "ACABRA KEFVRA!" **(FRIED CHICKEN! I shouted, and it was there!) ** a light appeared from voldomorts wand. I squinted my eyes and prepeared for it to hit me. **(YAY!)** But the light NEVER hitted me. **(WHY DIDN'T IT!)**

I opened my eyes to see RENUS LUPPIN standing in front of me. **(YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU DID NOT JUST KILL REMUS TO SAVE 'CARA'!)** His chest was a drak crimsun color. **(NO NO NO!)** Blood was gushing out of his taterd t-shit. **(Remus wears shit as well as eats it? Gryffindor wins house cup!)**

"Why?" I croaked. **(That's what I'm asking! Why couldn't it have been you?) ** I felt my perfect freshwagter eyes water **(and explode)**. Y did he have to sacrifice himself for me!? **(I know!) ** I DINT DESERVE THIS! **(No, you DID deserve this. REMUS didn't deserve it.) ** His body then went limp. I bent over his body & looked in his glassy eyes. **(Glassy eyes?)** I soberd. **(What? Have too many Firewiskeys?)**

I too out my wanf to fight **(I always carry my wanf in my back pocket. You should try it. Your buttocks may be blown off. Trust me; it's a lot of fun!) ** BUT VOLDOMOREE BEKKATRICKS SNAPE AND VULE HAD FLEED! **(GASP!)**

Then freed jorge & Harry ran into the room. **(Yeah, stalkers.)**

"WHAT HAPPEDN" screeched Hayr. Then they saw Rennus. **(GASP) ** I knew this because they all gasped. **(GASP!)**

"LUPIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP" they screesches. **(LUPIPPPPPP!)** But he didnt moove.

"IK what we can do!" suggested fredd. **(What?)**

"Wut" we all said. Fred took out his wand and muttered something under his breathe. **(I can't breathe and talk at the same time… YOU HAVE A TALENT FRED! You must go on Britain's Got Talent, and talk everyone to death.)**

"LIFEYDABERA!" **(Lifeydabera! That sounds like rapper. Lifeydabera in the house, yo!)** was what fred muttered.

We all gaasped. **(GASP!)** Renus was completely healed. **(WOAH, WOAH! As much as I **_**want **_**Remus alive as he is my favorite character, **_**no **_**magic can bring a person back from the dead.)** And he started tio move.

"UR ALIVE!" **(YAY, REMMY!)** We all shouted (accept fred) **(Why? Does Fred hate Remus or something?)** with glee. (nut the tv shoow I hat tht show!) **(What does Glee have to do with anything?)**

"Yes yes" said renns. We were so happy. **(I am happy he's alive, but depressed Cara isn't dead.)**

The next day I decidead to tell dumkedore. **(I've been working on the Dumkedore! All the Dumkedore day!)** So now I was in his office talkin 2 him.

"Soo let me get this strait. Snaap is workin for voldomore and bekkatricks 2. they both were in the skool." I nodded. **(Do the head bob with me everyone, do the head bob!)** "they were descried as rron and luna" I again nodded. I stoof there nervously **(I hate stoofing. I mean, it hurts your legs badly then, you have to play the harmonica to heal it! Stupid stoof disease!)** wondering if he would believe my story as absurd as it sounded. **(You are absurd!)**

"As much as I LUVVVVVVVVVVVVV snape **(Oh, Merlin, here we go again.)** I believe you" he smiled. I jumped in joy.

"Wut are we going to do about voldomort raising to power?" **(I don't know, maybe die and let Harry defeat him?) ** I asked. He scratched his chin in yought. **(Yogurt?)** "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" he said.

"I tink that we should…" **(Thinking must be hard for you)**

I GOTS U HAHAHAHAHAH I NEW U WERE ALL ECITED **(I'm absolutely thrilled…) ** ON WUT HE WUZ GOIN 2 SAY! DUMBU FINALLY BELIES HER CAN U BELIEVS ITZ! **(No.) ** HAHAH WAIT TIL NXT TIME! **(Do I have to have a next time?) **AND PS. GLEE IS SOO STUPET BECUZ THE DUDE FORM AVPMK IS IN IT! **(YOU DID NOT JUST DISS DAREN CRISS!)** & I CANTTNT STAND HOW THEY SING ALL DA DAM TIM! **(I CAN'T STAND THAT YOU WRITE ALL THE DAMN TIME!) ** IF U FLAMMME (BAD REVEIW 4 U RETARDED PPL) **(Like yourself?)** DEN UR DUM CUZ U DUNT NO GOOOOOD RITIN! **(I have better writing than you.)**

**A/N: What did you think? Click below and send a review! **


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I TAK MY RITIN SIRUSLY **(Really?)** (HAHAHA SRUS!) **(You have no right to use that joke…)** IM NUT TROLIN OR WUTEVA THT MEANSSS! **(Troll.)** SO STUP BEIN SO MEEN 2 ME & 2 CAR! **(No thanks.)** JUS 2 LET U NO SARAH HELLP ME W/DIS CHAPTA! **(Sarah, you're not doing a very good job, stop Madison!)** SO NO MORE FLAMMMS PROMESE! **(More flames are coming your way!)**

RECAP 4 U PPL THT FORGOT!

sO I was talking to fumledoer. **(What is this? American Football?)** WE were talking about voldomore. **(That sexy beast… Just kidding, only Tom Riddle is hot.) **He then said.

END RECEP!

"I think we should get my old frend grindylowa **(You're friends with a Grindylow?) ** out of abackajam! **(Sounds like a sandwich)** HE CAN HELP WITH THE WAR!" **(A movie theater claps, as they believed a Grindylow will destroy Cara.)** he shooted. **(Cara with his wand)** I thought he had a WONDERFUL idea.**(As do I.)** We should get as much help as we could! **(With killing you, that is.)**

"And CARA I thonk I should tell u should have been told wen you were very little." **(Oh no, dramatic back story time)** I nodded. "You are the only one that can defeat the dark lof. **(GASP! I so didn't expect that)** There was this profecy long ago that foretold that the only one to defeat volodomoret would see though his disguise and date his disguise's brothers. **(Wait, what? She's been so naïve and has been believing the disguises the whole time! She isn't the chosen one! SHE IS CHOOSEN FOR NOTHING.) ** She would also have enopugh bravery **(Cara brave? Yeah right)** to drank and stand up to his most faithful/loial follower **(ME! Well, in this version, that is. I despise him in anything else…) **… who happens to sadly b Sevrys.**(GASP) **And she will have hidden powers to unlock. **(Oh Merlin, not more powers…)** U are obviously the only one that fittes this. **(Not her.)**" Dumledore ranted.

"OHHH!" I fully understood what he was saying. I had powers to unlock. **(Dumb powers that revolve around you exploding, I hope.)** I must work hard and train to find out what they are! **(There are none.)** So I needed a mentor! **(GASP!)**

"Ik what your thinking. I will give you til nightfall to find a mentor." **(HE HATH TELEKINESIS!) ** He said.

I looked for a mentor in the forbidden forest. **(And was eaten by a wild pack of Aragog's children)** I was walking around looking behind tree after tree. **(Because that's where I look for **_**my **_**mentors)** Then suddenly I head a noise behind me. **(GASP!)**

"like OMG wut was that?"**(Prep) ** I asked myself silently. **(You can think?)** I turned around to see. A UNICORN WITH A FAIRY RIDDIN ON TOP OF IT! **(GASP!)** (dunt tke it in a preverted way! YUCKY! Can u imgine tht ISS DISGUSTIN! **(BAD IMAGE! BAD IMAGE!**) So yeah! Then I saw them behinf me. **(Look out from behinf!)**

The unicorn was turqoise with beautiful purple and green glittery streaks of its hair. **(Anyone else feeling like this is a Twilight moment?)** It had golden hooves and it was smiling. **(Creeper)** It looked truelly beautiful. **(IT'S SEXY AND IT KNOWS IT!)** The unicorn was the size of a pony! **(That's a weird ass unicorn)**

The fairy had tanned skinned with cotton candy pink hair. **(GASP!)** She was wearing a pink version of tinkerbells outfit. **(Why do you ruin Tinkerbell!)** She had glittery pink eyes that matched her outfit. **(Pink eye is a disease.)** The fairy was sparkling a bright yet beautiful yellow. **(Edward Cullen's sister?)** She was about five inches tall.

"Hello!" said the unicorn. I jumped in surpise. Did a unicorn just talk? **(No, it sneezed.)**

"Hello." I said back trying to be nice. **(You can be nice?)**

"HI!" sweaked the little fairy.

"we have come to train you to defeat voldomort!" said the unicorn. Just my luck! **(Maybe, the unicorn and fairy will gang up on Cara and destroy her.)** I was soo happy that something this beutifal was training me! **(Beautiful, unlike you.)** I jumped with glee. (oce agan w/ that dumass SHOW!) **(You're the dumbass here)**

That night I told dumledore about my menrots. He approved 100%! **(Yeah, let her go around with two random strangers!)** We had 2 week to train.

I later learned their nemes. The unicorn's name was Denali **(Dental floss?)** which means the grate one. **(Typical)** She told me thaat she is the leader and ruller of all unicorns. She gave me the unicorn Elita which means the chosen one. **(She GAVE you one of her own kind? Traitor of the unicorn pack)**

The fairies name is Tana. She is thr fairy queen that rules over all the faires. **(Again, typical)** She gave me the fairy name Amelinda which means the loved and the beutiful. **(Two things you are not.)** I dont know why when they gave me the names why they did. **(We don't know either)**

So for 2 weekz we trained.

"You are gettin sooooo powerful" **(Sooooooooooooooo Mary Sue)** squeaked Tana.**(who's eyes shinned with a passion to kill me.)** Denali agreed with her. **(as she was under the Imperius curse)** Then then raised up their arms (and hoves). **(To beat me to death. **

"**Goodbye world… I know you all hate me, but it's my time to go!" I said happily. The crowd cheered.)**

"Since youve completed your training. We are going to give you…" **(A face transplant!)**

MORE CLIFFY 4 U HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! **(You always leave me in such suspense, Madison, such suspense.) ** 2BAD U HAVE 2 WAIT TIL TOMARROW THAT ISNT LONG FROM NOW THOUGH! **(Please, take as long as you need. No rush.)** HAPPY CHAPTA 10 EVEY 1!~! **(You call it happy?)**

**What did you think? Click below and leave a review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I apologize with the tardiness of this chapter. I've been incredibly stressed out lately, and boatload of things are occurring. Also, anytime I've had the opportunity to write, I've been working on the story _Expect the Unexpected. _You can check that out if you wish. I'm certainly not forcing you.**

**Madison is back up yet again. Thank you to the review who told me that. Her name is MadisonSayer. I'm still collecting every update she does so, I can comment on it!**

**Anyway, back to the garbage!**

AN: HO**(E)** MANY TIMES DO I HAV 2 TEL U IM A GR8 RITER **(As many times as you tell youself that, it still doesn't make it true.)** U JUS STUP TELLIN ME THT I NEED A BETTA REDER **(You need a Beta Reader.)** I GOT 1 SARAH MEMBER? **(Who is a worse beta reader then my imaginary dog.)** PLOT IZ FINE! **(There's a plot?)** SO STFU! **(No thanks.)** DUMASS FLAMMMERZ! **(You're a Dumbass, Dumbass.)**

"We are going to giv you are powers!" Tana said cheerfully. I was shooked **(Who's shaking you. Elmo?)** and really really reallyyyy happy! OMG **(LIKE OMG DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRE?)** they really are I thaght excitedly. **(I thaght all the time!)** Waot if I got there powers what would become of them!? **(DON'T GIVE THIS DEMON YOUR POWERS!)**

"OHHH don't worry we wont lose are powers!" said Denali. **(Denali reads minds. GASP!)**

"goog I said. **(Goog is a fun word to say. Goog this. Goog that. Hit Cara in the head with a Muggle baseball bat.)** They then gave me theree powers. **(You can turn into a tree?)** I felt a shockwave. I felt like 1000000 voltz were hitting on me. **(That must be Thor destroying you.)** I then saw black. **(YAY, YOU MUST BE DEAD!)**

"Ur awake!" **(Ruined my dreams again! Ultimate sad face.)** I knew that voice it was dumlesoes voice! **(GASP!)** I then opened my eyes and saw him. Next to him were Haryr fred and Jorge **(George)**.

"HELLO!" I said. **(Man, way to scare a person.)**

"Hi they" said back. **(Who said back? And who's they?)**

"Wut happened?" asked Harry. I told them what happened.

"Did you see any of the coll new powers you got?" **(Probably not)** asked Jorge **(George)**. I knew he cared! **(He doesn't care. It's just an act of force!)** I smiled. I then shook my head. **(Rude)**

"Oh okay." Said fred.

**"I think we should go in the forest top check it out" (For what?) **said dumvledore.

WE went into the forest. I stook by a tree. Same with the others. Horge **(George! I think.)** gasped.

"What" I said. "Your hare it's a different color!" **(You turned a rabbit a different colour? Well, that's quite rude, now isn't it?)** he shreiked.

"AND uour eyes!" said fted. Hary tossed me a mirror. **(What's Harry doing with a mirror?)** I caght it. Me reflexes must have immporrrreved. **(Yippy doodle day.)** I looked into the mirror. I had bright pink eyes **(Pink eye is a disease)** and purple hair. I gasped. Wut if I cound get my hair and eyes back? **(That's your problem.)** I thought of my hair and eyes. I looked into the mirror again. I signed in reflief. MY HAIR AND EYES WERE BACK. **(GASP. YOU HAVE HAIR AND EYES!)**

"that must be 1 of your many powers cara" said duflebopre. "same with the reflexes." **(Typical Sue.)**

I then kicked the trree in joy. BUT IT FELL OVER! **(GASP)**

"OMG!" hary said.

"don't wory" said fred just another power!" **(They couldn't figure that on their own?)**

"OH!" They all said. And me.

I then try out all my other powers. The powers I got were supper strenghth, fast relaxes, hair and eyes can shift, I can change into a unicorn and a fairy with all there powers, I also have this suoper power that is soo dangerouis it could cost my my life. **(Go and try the last power, please!)** I named my unicorn forn Elita and my fairy forn Amelinda.

"wut about here magic?" asled **(Asled?)** fred.

"OH I think I should teach her some of that" **(YOU GO TO A MAGIC SCHOOL!) **said Dumbledore. "After that she can defeat volomart. Anyway I just got my frend grindellwala **(Grindlewald?)** out of alanaban **(Got to love alanaban. It's filled with billions of Alan Rickman copies.)**. He wants 2 meet u cara and he can help u learn magic too!" **(Boo!)**

We then went 2 dumbnlredores office ti meet his frend I opened the door-!

AN: HAHAHAHA GOT U AGAN! **(As always, I'm in so much suspense.)** SRRY I COUNT UPDATE YESDAY **(Don't worry, we aren't rushing you.)** I HAD 2 MET A OLD FREND FROM WEN I WAZ LIT;E!

**Just click below and send me a review to tell me what you thought!**


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